Grief and death in music, literature, the media
Songs
| Title | Eric Clapton, Tears in Heaven (1992) (the story behind Conor Clapton) |
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| Link | |
Description | The story behind the song “Tears in Heaven”, in which Eric Clapton addresses the death by accident of his four-year-old son Conor. |
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| Title | Die Toten Hosen - Nur zu Besuch. (2002) |
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| Link | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-Dh0BLHQgU |
| Description | On visiting the grave, grieving and talking to the dead. |
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| Title | Unheilig - So wie du warst. (2012) |
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| Link | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkyc3zrTDcU |
| Description | On mourning and remembering the dead. |
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| Title | Xavier Naidoo - Abschied nehmen. (2002) |
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| Link | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v7bn6fmgIw |
| Description | On missing the chance to say goodbye and mourning. |
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| Title | The Script - If you could see me now. (2012) |
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| Link | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5nXs-D9whY |
| Description | A talk with a dead father. |
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Novels
| Title | Lohse, Stephan: Ein fauler Gott. Frankfurt a. M. (2017) |
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| Description | A coming-of-age story. At the heart of the novel is the death of the author’s younger brother, who, at age 8, suddenly collapses in the public outdoor pool and dies. The death notification, the way the relatives learn of the boy’s death and how they deal with the aftermath make up the majority of the action. |
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| Title | Benedict Wells: Vom Ende der Einsamkeit. Zurich (2016) |
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| Description | Three siblings lose their parents to a car accident, react very differently and, over the years, develop individual copying strategies. Twenty years pass until the protagonist is ready to face his memories of the days immediately following his parents’ death. |
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Video games
| Title | That Dragon, Cancer (2016) |
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| Link | http://www.zeit.de/digital/games/2016-01/that-dragon-cancer-spiel-krebs |
| Description | Joel is ten years old when he is diagnosed with a brain tumour. He dies three years later. The computer game is characterised above all by the protagonist’s helplessness in the face of his adversary, cancer. |
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Films and TV series
| Title | The Messenger - Die letzte Nachricht (2010) |
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| Type | Feature film |
| Link | https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGWGc5dfbzn_MsGhUI6rlOuRvo9PE2yNJ |
| Description | After returning from active service, two soldiers are tasked with delivering death notifications to the relatives of soldiers who did not survive their tour of service. Their detached superior is quick to establish the rules: Never say “Hello”, keep calm, don't show emotion and avoid body contact. However, this only works until the two meet Olivia, who is about to hear some bad news. |
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| Title | WDR Menschen hautnah - Erste Hilfe für die Seele (2014) |
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| Type | Documentary |
| Link | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGZRKwSlccc |
| Description | A documentary exploring the work of a crisis intervention team (KIT) in Hamburg that supports police officers in delivering death notifications. The psychosocial first responder Olav Meyer Sievers talks about his work, past and current cases, the reactions of relatives and his reasons for volunteering. |
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| Title | Im Winter ein Jahr (2008) |
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| Director | Caroline Link |
| Type | Feature film |
| Link | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmUIQPriSGA |
| Description | The film explores how the protagonist copes with her brother’s suicide. It is set one year after the event and portrays its impact on the surviving family members. The mother orders a painter to paint a picture of her dead son Alexander and her living daughter Lilli, but Lilli disapproves of the idea. Her father, meanwhile, takes refuge in his work. |
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| Title | Magazin mit Kinetische und Ben: Hallo Tod! Was kommt, das geht (2012). |
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| Type | Educational film for kids |
| Link | https://www.planet-schule.de/sf/php/sendungen.php?sendung=9228 |
| Description | No one knows what happens after death. The child-friendly and funny animations with Grandpa Knietzsche explain death and where our final journey can take us. “Hello death” seeks to answer kids’ questions about death and to address the experiences they have made with it - an opportunity for teachers and parents to get children to talk about death. |
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| Title | Dr House, season 3, episode 20: House Training (2008). |
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| Type | TV series |
| Description | The young assistant doctor Foreman must tell a young patient that she will die soon. He seeks advice from Dr House, who is famous for his bed-side manner and has received positive feedback from dying patients he had to deliver bad news to in the past. He shares his wisdom with Dr Foreman, telling him what to do and what not to do. Foreman delivers the bad news as instructed, but things go awry. (starting at minute 17:50) |
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| Title | Black Mirror, season 2, episode 1: Be Right Back (2013). |
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| Type | TV series |
| Description | Black Mirror is a British science fiction series illuminating the darker aspects of life and technology. Each episode deals with another topic and paints a disturbing picture of how the technology of the future might impact us negatively. In “Be Right Back”, the lonely and grieving Martha learns of a new service that lets her contact the dead. She decides to get into touch with her dead boyfriend Ash. The artificial dummy of Ash she is sent has been programmed with the digital remains of Ash found in social media services he used to frequent. The episode deals with a slightly different kind of coping strategy. It soon becomes clear that Martha’s decision has quite the opposite effect: It makes it more difficult for her to let go and she realises that artificial intelligence cannot replace a human being. |
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Subject literature - death notifications
| Title | Wolter, Clarissa: Die Übermittlung von unerwarteten Todesnachrichten (2006) |
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| Link | https://www.amazon.de/%C3%9Cbermittlung-unerwarteten-Todesnachrichten-Internationale-Hochschulschriften/dp/3830917295 |
| Description | An investigation into doctor-patient talks that also include the delivery of a death notification from a communication studies perspective. |
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| Title | Heidig, Jörg: Wenn man die Welt zum Einsturz bringen muss: über Todesnachrichten (2017) |
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| Link | http://blog.prozesspsychologen.de/wenn-man-die-welt-zum-einsturz-bringen-muss-uber-todesnachrichten/ |
| Description | The most important aspects of delivering death notifications, summarised in a blog entry. |
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| Title | Profesor Faust, Volker: Wie überbringe ich eine Todesnachricht? |
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| Link | http://www.psychosoziale-gesundheit.net/psychiatrie/todesnachricht.html |
| Description | Summary of important aspects of delivering death notifications. |
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| Title | Bundesverband verwaiste Eltern in Deutschland e.V.: Notes for emergency care services, emergency counsellors and crisis intervention teams. |
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| Link | http://schulpastoral.drs.de/fileadmin/hauptabteilungen/ha-ix/documents/Praxisfelder/Krisenseelsorge/06_notfallbetreuung/hinweise-rettungsdienst-notfallseelsorge-krisenintervention.pdf |
| Description | Suggestions for delivering death notifications to parents whose children have died unexpectedly. Two articles deal explicitly with delivering death notifications. One of them provides advice on what parents who have lost a child would have liked to have heard in the situation, the other has practical suggestions for delivering death notifications and how the messengers themselves should deal with this challenging situation. |
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| Title | Mundt, Angélique: Erste Hilfe für die Seele: Einsatz im Kriseninterventionsteam (2016) |
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| Link | https://service.randomhouse.de/Presse/ebook/Erste-Hilfe-fuer-die-Seele-Einsatz-im-Kriseninterventionsteam/Angelique-Mundt/pr471370.rhd |
| Description | Angélique Mundt is a psychologist and part of the crisis intervention team (KIT) in Hamburg, which supports police officers in delivering death notifications. In her book, she describes her own experiences with delivering death notifications and the first few hours of the aftermath. A short digression on pp. 78-85 summarises her experiences with delivering death notifications as well as important hints and advice. |
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| Title | ViSdP, Georg Hug: Überbringen einer Todesnachricht. |
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| Link | http://polizeiseelsorge.org/download/C4d4f99e7X144ad20ae6eX2eb2/todesnachricht_e.pdf |
| Description | Pocket-sized flyer/information sheet for police officers on delivering death notifications that provides a quick overview and a reminder of the most important aspects. |
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| Title | Lasogga, Frank: Mitteilung einer Todesnachricht: Psychische Erste Hilfe (2007). |
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| Link | http://www.feuerwehrseelsorge.de/Lasogga1.pdf |
| Description | Delivering death notifications. Psychological first aid. This article deals with how best to care for relatives who have received news of a family member’s death and potential reactions. |
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Subject literature - coping with stressful situations
| Title | Helmrichs, Jutta; Karutz, Harald; Gengenbach, Oliver; Richwin, Rike: Psychosoziale Herausforderungen im Feuerwehrdienst (2016) |
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| Link | https://www.bbk.bund.de/SharedDocs/Downloads/BBK/DE/Publikationen/Publikationen_NOAH/Belastungen-senken_PSNV.pdf?__blob=publicationFile |
| Description | A brochure for fire fighters on dealing with stressful deployments. The coping strategies described here are also useful in other professional fields. The author outlines various types of stressful situations and describes the possible consequences of stressful deployments in a scientifically sound yet easily understandable manner. She distinguishes between “normal reactions to abnormal events” and reactions that require professional intervention. The brochure also includes self-care and prevention tips. |
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| Title | Meyer u. Balk: Notärzte im Umgang mit psychisch belastenden Einsatzsituationen, in: Notfall- und Rettungsmedizin 5,2 (2002), 89-95. |
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| Link | https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10049-001-0411-3?no-access=true |
| Description | Explores emergency doctors’ emotions and strategies after resuscitation and challenging deployments, and the role of supervision in coping with extraordinary events. |
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Subject literature - coping with grief
| Title | Hinderer, Petra & Kroth, Martina: Kinder bei Tod und Trauer begleiten: Konkrete Hilfestellungen bei Trauersituationen. (2005) |
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| Link | http://sonderpaedagoge.de/alt/literatur/rezi.php?id=192 |
| Description | For carers working with grieving children and for general issues connected to the topics of dying, death and mourning. For use in kindergarten, primary school, daycare and after school centres; for professional and volunteer counsellors, hospice staff and parents. |
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| Title | Thieme, Frank, Jäger, Julia: Sterben, Tod und Trauer - Eine soziologische Einführung in Geschichte und Gegenwart der Todesbewältigung. (2018) |
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| Link | http://www.springer.com/de/book/9783531160979 |
| Description | Dying, death and coping with grief are generally thought of as events that cannot be influenced and/or as expressions of individual behaviour. In reality, however, the various forms of dying, death and mourning practised constitute a culture, i.e. they are socially conditioned. This is true for debates about the meaning of death, the causes and places of death, coping strategies and the huge variety of extant burial and memorial rituals. What remains is the ambivalence of death. Modern societies have been very successful in combating, i.e. postponing, death. At the same time, intentional, politically legitimised forms of killing continue to exist. |
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| Title | Drescher, Alexandra: Der Tod der anderen (2011). |
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| Link | http://www.zeit.de/zeit-wissen/2011/06/Psychologie-Trauer |
| Description | How the bereaved cope with death and grief. Why do different people react differently to the loss of a loved one? |
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| Title | Bayrischer Rundfunk: Dem Tod begegnen. Abschiede gehören zum Leben (2016) |
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| Link | http://www.br.de/themen/ratgeber/inhalt/familie/tod-trauer-schmerz-100.html |
| Description | Report on mourning, the various stages of mourning and the difference between “regular mourning” and particularly challenging forms of mourning that require professional intervention. |
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Experience reports - delivering death notifications
| Title | Soehring, Maren: Eine Todesnachricht überbringen (2017). |
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| Link | https://www.zeit.de/campus/2007/04/erstes-mal-todesnachricht |
| Description | Junior police inspector Christian Biermann (23) shares his memories of the first time he was tasked with delivering a death notification. |
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| Title | Windmann, Antje: Ihr Sohn ist tot (2012). |
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| Link | https://www.spiegel.de/spiegel/print/d-85431510.html |
| Description | Police officers, emergency counsellors and doctors talk about delivering death notifications and the relatives’ reactions. |
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| Title | Kremers, Patrick: Dürfen wir reinkommen? (2012) |
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| Link | https://www.spiegel.de/spiegel/spiegelwissen/d-89209223.html |
| Description | Report on delivering death notifications and coping with this stressful task. |
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| Title | Hessische/Niedersächsische Allgemeine: Überbringen von Todesbenachrichtigungen gehört auch zur Polizeiarbeit (2012). |
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| Link | http://www.hna.de/lokales/northeim/wir-sind-nicht-abgebrueht-aufgabe-polizisten-gehoert-auch-ueberbringen-todesbenachrichtigungen-2473126.html |
| Description | Two police officers report on their experiences with delivering death notifications. |